C.S. Elston

Author, Husband, Home Cook, Fan

People Pleasing

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“Those who please all men at all times ought deservedly to look on themselves with suspicion.” — Johann Albrecht Bengel

There is nothing wrong with wanting to make people happy and it is completely natural to want to be well-liked. However, the goals of pleasing everyone and remaining someone who is honest both with themselves and those around them cannot co-exist. For me, and most of us, I presume, the latter is the priority.

As a Christian, my absolute highest priority is actually trying to please God. And, if I’m being two-faced, I’m failing in that primary goal. Two-faced people are not authentic people and God demands authenticity. After all, authenticity is truth and Jesus told us that the truth shall set us free. If pleasing my God is my top priority, I must be striving to please Him in every conversation I have. Therefore, I can’t be one person with my church friends and another with my school or work friends. I have to remain that God-pleasing person in every public situation, as well is in private. My inner person must match up with my outer person, always. That’s authenticity.

As a writer, trying to please everyone is the kiss of death. Different people like different things. Therefore, I write things that I would enjoy reading. When I do, I accept that some people will also enjoy the things that I do. I also accept that some people will not. That’s okay. Unfortunately, I even have to accept the fact that there will be people who actually hate what I do. That can be tough to swallow but, when it comes right down to it, it’s natural and, therefore, it’s okay, too. After all, if I write a piece about Jesus being the Son of God, I can’t expect an atheist to appreciate it. And, if I write something to try and get everyone to love it, chances are very few people are even going to like it. I’ll take 100 five-star reviews and 100 one-star reviews over two hundred three-star reviews because I know 100 people are going to want to read what I write next.

At the end of the day, the truth is, what I really want to do is to write things that please God. If He likes it, I’m happy. If He can use it, He’ll guide the right people to it. In other words, I must only strive to please God at all times and He’ll take care of the rest.

What’s so good about ‘Good Friday’?

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Most of us are aware that Good Friday commemorates the crucifixion and death of Jesus. So, shouldn’t we be mourning rather than celebrating? Shouldn’t we be sad and full of sorrow rather than glad and full of joy? This was something I had a hard time understanding when I was younger. But, as I’ve matured in my faith I’ve come to realize that Good Friday is good specifically because it includes all of those emotions.

I have seen the movie “The Passion of the Christ” numerous times and I have yet to watch it without weeping. The images of the only perfect, sinless human being brutally beaten, mocked and painfully executed do induce much-warranted grief. After all, it was my sin, my inability to obey God’s laws, that put him there. I was hopeless until Jesus hung on that cross. We all were. Which, means, we’re all to blame. So, we should feel that sorrow. It’s what 2 Corinthians 7:10 refers to as godly sorrow.

However, the fact that Jesus loved me so much he willingly submitted to such horror also fills me with godly joy and gratefulness. The best part is, it was for all of us. Even the worst of us. It was for the criminal who hung on the cross next to him. It was for the Apostle Paul who, before he was the Apostle, was Saul, the ultimate persecutor of those who loved and followed Jesus. It was for me. And, it was for you. There is no greater love than what God has already shown to each and every one of us and that, coupled with the promise of death’s ultimate defeat that we’ll celebrate on Easter Sunday, is what makes Good Friday so good.

What the World Needs Now

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After seeing the title of this post, you’re probably singing “is love, sweet love” in your head. Or, maybe you’re not keeping it inside and you’re belting out the 1965 Jackie DeShannon hit to either the delight or severe dismay of those around you. Perhaps you’re by yourself, in which case I say go ahead and belt it out. I’ve convinced myself that God loves the sound of my voice, even if no one else does. I’m sure the same is true for you.

Love, sweet love is synonymous with how I would finish that sentence with or without the song. After all, God is love. And, we’re not seeing enough love these days, are we? The culture seems to be in a state of chaos. It seems like there’s another school shooting every other week, another terrorist attack just as often, and we’re in danger of adding more wars every day. Yesterday it was with North Korea, the day before that it was Russia, and this morning it’s Syria. Dare I even mention that the current political climate has the United States of America more divided than ever?

So, what is the answer? Border Walls? Gun control? Mental health mandates? How about our spiritual health? Let’s take it back to love. Let’s take it back to the cross. Why? Because I whole-heartedly agree with both William Barclay who said, “Jesus’ coming is the final and unanswerable proof that God cares” and the late, great Billy Graham who said “God proved His love on the Cross. When Christ hung, and bled, and died, it was God saying to the world, ‘I love you.’”

I look to the cross and there is nothing that anyone can say or do to make me believe that God does not care about the chaos in our culture or that He does not love me in a very personal and direct way. He’s already proven it.

So, why don’t more people see it that way? Well, quite simply, we’ve pushed him out of our lives. We’ve put ourselves on the throne where He rightfully belongs. We see it all around us every day. Sadly, even often at church. Therefore, I would argue that it is our spiritual health that is in crisis and if we can fix that, everything else will fall into place.

Obviously, we can’t remove sin from the world. The world will be restored but it will be God that does it. Which is all the more reason to look to Him now. We need a revival. We need repentance. We need to make holiness and righteousness our primary goal. We need to put God back on the throne of our lives and, by extension, our culture.

I am convinced that with true, Christian revival would come a drastic reduction in murder, terrorism, war, racism and the indiscriminate shouts of hatred toward others that we see on the news every day and night.

Respect for God means we respect what God respects and love what God loves. God is love and He loves each and every one of us. That means that if we would wholeheartedly turn to God and changed our lives to reflect our love and respect for Him, we would almost automatically love and respect each other. If we respected each other, we would stop breeding hatred and, ultimately, stop killing one another.

In other words, passing all the laws in the world can’t do what turning to God can do. You might say, what the world needs now is Jesus, sweet Jesus. Perhaps now more than ever before.

Defining a “Christian” Novel

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I’m continuing to slowly rollout my answers to questions in an interview I did on Twitter back in November for #MounceChat / #HealthyFaith. This week’s post is a short but sweet one. A writer from Montana named Carol Buchanan asked me, “What defines a ‘Christian novel’?” Here is how I responded:

I’m sure it is defined differently by different people. For me, a Christian novel represents Christianity in a positive and honest way through character development and storyline and points people to the truth of God.

Someone whose primary concern is the marketing aspect of the literary world would tell you that it is definitely a genre of its own. But, for me, as the writer, I would say it’s the spirit that pervades the story. I don’t think there’s a strictly right or wrong answer. But, the latter is where I land.

Adding to my answer from back in November, I’ll just say that I don’t believe all of my own work would be called “Christian” by Christian film/book marketers and/or sellers although I also know that some of it certainly would be. However, I do believe that all of it represents Christianity in a positive and honest way and points people to the truth of God. I’m sure of this because I know I write honestly and from the heart and I have personally witnessed the power of Jesus Christ to change lives.

The more mature I become in my faith, the more that truth will reveal itself through my writing because it becomes increasingly intertwined with who I am. If you’re writing honestly, who you are shows up on the page every time. So, if you’re a true follower of Jesus Christ and you’re writing a novel from a heart transformed by the Holy Spirit, you’re writing a “Christian” novel whether or not you set out to do so.

Facing the Critic Within

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We’ve never seen him (or, her – for me it’s a him) but we’ve all heard his voice. Call him the voice of doubt, the inner critic or, heck, call him the natural thief of confidence and productivity. It all means the same thing. It’s that nagging voice that comes from within. I hear it all the time. After all, I believe that I am my harshest critic.

Self-criticizing can be very detrimental. It can stifle creativity. It can cause you to doubt your abilities and the work you’re doing to the point where it slows you down or even leaves you completely unproductive. It can cause image issues, relationship fears, and often leads to full-blown depression.

All this to say that the critic within needs to be taken seriously and managed appropriately. To avoid the downward spiral that leads to self-destructive behavior, it is my humble opinion that the critic needs to be listened to and responded to because it can’t be all-together avoided. If, instead, we can harness the criticism and re-direct it into self-improvement, we will become happier and more successful people. So, how do we do that?

First, we must accept the fact that no one is perfect. We aren’t, never will be, and expectations of perfection are both ludicrous and harmful. Goals are great but keeping them realistic is critical so that we set ourselves up for success.

Next, we need to identify the motivational source of the voice. Is this coming from a place deep inside where we know we have room for improvement in a certain area? Or, is this coming from a place of pain? A place of deception? For some, the critic within comes from a place where they have been hurt in the past.

For example, a boy that was teased as a child for being overweight can grow up to be a man who feels fat no matter how much time he spends in the gym or how many times he passes on the French fries, opting instead for the kale salad. That’s when you know the voice is a liar and needs to be kicked out of your life. Choosing the gym and the kale salad made the man a better version of himself than accepting his “fate” as a fat man and eating French fries while watching The Biggest Loser in tears would have. But, he already made that improvement so, continuing to listen to that voice would only mean inevitable self-destruction. Time to move on.

As a Christian, I also believe that the voice within me can be the Holy Spirit shining a light on dark spots in my life that need to be exposed so that I can improve. So that I can become the man I was created to be and live the life I was created to live. That’s a voice I want to listen to because it makes me a better person and, ultimately, a happier one.

As a writer, the critic within can make my work better. Again, I just need to learn to harness it and use it for good rather than let it overwhelm me and take me down the path of self-destruction. Like me while I’m on this side of heaven, my work will never be perfect. And, also like me, there’s always room for improvement. We are all works in progress. And, until my books are in print, I’m trying to improve every little detail until I have to let go.

The bottom line is that the critic within can be a good thing. Or, it can be your worst enemy. The choice is up to you. One thing that’s for sure, we all face that voice from time to time. The trick is in how we decide to handle that standoff.

 

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