C.S. Elston

Author, Husband, Home Cook, Fan

People Pleasing

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“Those who please all men at all times ought deservedly to look on themselves with suspicion.” — Johann Albrecht Bengel

There is nothing wrong with wanting to make people happy and it is completely natural to want to be well-liked. However, the goals of pleasing everyone and remaining someone who is honest both with themselves and those around them cannot co-exist. For me, and most of us, I presume, the latter is the priority.

As a Christian, my absolute highest priority is actually trying to please God. And, if I’m being two-faced, I’m failing in that primary goal. Two-faced people are not authentic people and God demands authenticity. After all, authenticity is truth and Jesus told us that the truth shall set us free. If pleasing my God is my top priority, I must be striving to please Him in every conversation I have. Therefore, I can’t be one person with my church friends and another with my school or work friends. I have to remain that God-pleasing person in every public situation, as well is in private. My inner person must match up with my outer person, always. That’s authenticity.

As a writer, trying to please everyone is the kiss of death. Different people like different things. Therefore, I write things that I would enjoy reading. When I do, I accept that some people will also enjoy the things that I do. I also accept that some people will not. That’s okay. Unfortunately, I even have to accept the fact that there will be people who actually hate what I do. That can be tough to swallow but, when it comes right down to it, it’s natural and, therefore, it’s okay, too. After all, if I write a piece about Jesus being the Son of God, I can’t expect an atheist to appreciate it. And, if I write something to try and get everyone to love it, chances are very few people are even going to like it. I’ll take 100 five-star reviews and 100 one-star reviews over two hundred three-star reviews because I know 100 people are going to want to read what I write next.

At the end of the day, the truth is, what I really want to do is to write things that please God. If He likes it, I’m happy. If He can use it, He’ll guide the right people to it. In other words, I must only strive to please God at all times and He’ll take care of the rest.

What’s so good about ‘Good Friday’?

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Most of us are aware that Good Friday commemorates the crucifixion and death of Jesus. So, shouldn’t we be mourning rather than celebrating? Shouldn’t we be sad and full of sorrow rather than glad and full of joy? This was something I had a hard time understanding when I was younger. But, as I’ve matured in my faith I’ve come to realize that Good Friday is good specifically because it includes all of those emotions.

I have seen the movie “The Passion of the Christ” numerous times and I have yet to watch it without weeping. The images of the only perfect, sinless human being brutally beaten, mocked and painfully executed do induce much-warranted grief. After all, it was my sin, my inability to obey God’s laws, that put him there. I was hopeless until Jesus hung on that cross. We all were. Which, means, we’re all to blame. So, we should feel that sorrow. It’s what 2 Corinthians 7:10 refers to as godly sorrow.

However, the fact that Jesus loved me so much he willingly submitted to such horror also fills me with godly joy and gratefulness. The best part is, it was for all of us. Even the worst of us. It was for the criminal who hung on the cross next to him. It was for the Apostle Paul who, before he was the Apostle, was Saul, the ultimate persecutor of those who loved and followed Jesus. It was for me. And, it was for you. There is no greater love than what God has already shown to each and every one of us and that, coupled with the promise of death’s ultimate defeat that we’ll celebrate on Easter Sunday, is what makes Good Friday so good.

Defining a “Christian” Novel

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I’m continuing to slowly rollout my answers to questions in an interview I did on Twitter back in November for #MounceChat / #HealthyFaith. This week’s post is a short but sweet one. A writer from Montana named Carol Buchanan asked me, “What defines a ‘Christian novel’?” Here is how I responded:

I’m sure it is defined differently by different people. For me, a Christian novel represents Christianity in a positive and honest way through character development and storyline and points people to the truth of God.

Someone whose primary concern is the marketing aspect of the literary world would tell you that it is definitely a genre of its own. But, for me, as the writer, I would say it’s the spirit that pervades the story. I don’t think there’s a strictly right or wrong answer. But, the latter is where I land.

Adding to my answer from back in November, I’ll just say that I don’t believe all of my own work would be called “Christian” by Christian film/book marketers and/or sellers although I also know that some of it certainly would be. However, I do believe that all of it represents Christianity in a positive and honest way and points people to the truth of God. I’m sure of this because I know I write honestly and from the heart and I have personally witnessed the power of Jesus Christ to change lives.

The more mature I become in my faith, the more that truth will reveal itself through my writing because it becomes increasingly intertwined with who I am. If you’re writing honestly, who you are shows up on the page every time. So, if you’re a true follower of Jesus Christ and you’re writing a novel from a heart transformed by the Holy Spirit, you’re writing a “Christian” novel whether or not you set out to do so.

The Influence of My Faith in My Storytelling

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I have been posting my answers to an interview I did on Twitter back in November for #MounceChat (which I believe has since merged with #HealthyFaith.) As I mentioned previously, this started because a participant, Rachael Colby, suggested I turn some of the questions and answers into blog posts. Solid advice. Since the third question was on a topic I have covered in a previous blog post, I’m going to skip ahead to the fourth question I was asked which was, “How does your faith influence your writing?? Here was my response:

C.S. Lewis said, “To love at all is to be vulnerable.” I think the same can be said of writing because to write at all is to expose yourself to your reader. My faith is who I am so, it comes out very naturally in my writing.

I grew up thinking that Christian music, movies and novels were mostly pretty cheesy. And, to be fair, a lot of it is. Certainly, a lot of it was. But, when I was younger, that caused me to run away from it instead of becoming someone who could try and improve upon what was out there. In my youth, I said I would always be a Christian and a writer but, I would never be a Christian writer.

So, on a number of projects I actually made an effort to write and keep certain things from coming off as “Christian.” But, it always felt dishonest because I was holding back a huge part of who I am. I used the excuse that Jesus came to heal the sick, not the healthy. It’s a truth Satan can twist to distract us from our mission.

Shortly before I started writing novels I began to realize that’s the same excuse people use when they water down the gospel or become preachers for selfish gain instead of fully giving themselves over to the Lord to be used by God the way God chooses. Contrary to what our attitudes sometimes suggest, He doesn’t need any help in deciding how to handle anything. To suggest otherwise would be to pretend we belong on that throne. Scary thought.

It’s a struggle everyone has because it’s the essence of sin itself. It’s pride and it’s wrong. What He wants, instead, is for us to let go and allow Him full access and full control. So, I’ve finally embraced it. It’s a decision that brings peace.

I’ve been encouraged as Christian music and even Christian movies have gotten better. But, I’ve also gotten closer to the Lord since I got married and now it feels like to hide that part of who I am would be to hide the whole of me. Quite frankly, if I did that, I don’t think my writing would be any good at all. I think that embrace really shows in my most recent book, “The Gift of Rio” more than in anything else I’ve ever written. Some of the people close to me, who have read most of the things I’ve written over the years, have told me that they think it’s the best thing I’ve written to date. I know this, it’s the most personal. And, that typically makes the writing better.

2018 New Year’s Resolution

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I’ve never been much for new year resolutions. In fact, I specifically used to avoid them because I thought they were silly. The only one I ever really made and stuck to for any length of time was to get healthier. But, even that one petered out before the end of summer. Besides, why wait for a specific day on the calendar to make a positive life change?

While I still don’t think it is necessary to wait for a specific day, there is something refreshing about the clean slate that comes on January 1st. So, I’ve decided to make a simple, yet potentially profound, resolution for 2018. Through both good times and bad, I am going to live the truth of King David’s words in the following verse:

David wrote those words in a moment of time when he knew his own son, Absalom, was on his way to kill him and assume his throne. If David can hold on to that kind of faith during such a tragic, lonely, and terrifying period, so can I.

Who’s with me?

The Reason for the Season

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By now, most of us have heard that Jesus was more likely born in early fall than on December 25th and that many of the popular customs associated with Christmas actually pre-date the holiday and were probably adopted from winter solstice celebrations by pagan populations that later converted to Christianity. We also know that we’re supposed to be full of “Christmas cheer” for three or four weeks as winter settles in but, instead, find ourselves yelling at each other in parking lots, spending money on things we can’t afford and tackling strangers in the toy aisle at Walmart. So, what exactly are we celebrating and why are we celebrating it?

When in doubt, take it back to the basics and refuse to get caught up in the minutia. Regardless of when Jesus was born, the miraculous thing is that the Word became flesh. What does that mean and why does it matter? One of my favorite authors, C.S. Lewis, put it this way:

“The Son of God became a man to enable men to become sons of God.”

~ C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

Let’s look closely at the specifics behind Lewis’ statement. And, to do so, let’s go straight to a modern translation of the original source material. The book of John begins by telling us this:

“In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things were made through him, and without him was not anything made that was made. In him was life, and the life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.”

~ John 1:1-5, English Standard Version

These five verses are packed with life-transforming information. First, they tell us that the Word was both with God and was God from the very beginning of everything. Second, they tell us that the Word is responsible for all of creation. Third, they tell us that the Word contains the life that is the light of humanity which is not overcome by darkness.

From the Garden of Eden to the moment of Jesus’ birth, humanity had proven over and over again that we could not overcome sin on our own. Left to our own devices, we were headed for death. We were headed for eternal darkness. We needed the life that is the light that would not be overcome. The light that is only in the Word. Later in that first chapter of John, God showed us mercy and gave us that light:

“And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth.”

~ John 1:14, English Standard Version

Lewis stated the importance of this event for us with precision:

“The central miracle asserted by Christians is the Incarnation. They say that God became Man. Every other miracle prepares for this, or exhibits this, or results from this.”

~ C.S. Lewis, Miracles

The birth of Jesus Christ is the single most important event in all of human history. God became man. Feel the weight of that statement. The Creator became the Creation. The highest being in existence descended into a world he created perfect because it had since been infected by sin and he knew that the sacrifice he was making was the one and only way to redeem it, to redeem us. We needed . . . and still . . . We need Jesus!

“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him.”

~ John 3:16-17, English Standard Version

 

Our good friend, Lewis, put it this way:

“In the Christian story God descends to re-ascend. He comes down; down from the heights of absolute being into time and space, down into humanity . . . But He goes down to come up again and bring the ruined world up with Him . . . “

~ C.S. Lewis, Miracles

Praise his name! Fake tree, real tree, no tree . . . Who cares? All that really matters is that the miracle of Christmas is absolutely worth celebrating. The God of all creation loves us so much that he came down in order to take us back up with him, where he always intended us to be! And, even in a crowded shopping mall parking lot or the toy aisle at Walmart, the miracle and the meaning of Christmas should absolutely fill your heart with joy. It sure does mine.

And, it is with that joyous heart that I wish you all a very merry Christmas!

Facing the Critic Within

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We’ve never seen him (or, her – for me it’s a him) but we’ve all heard his voice. Call him the voice of doubt, the inner critic or, heck, call him the natural thief of confidence and productivity. It all means the same thing. It’s that nagging voice that comes from within. I hear it all the time. After all, I believe that I am my harshest critic.

Self-criticizing can be very detrimental. It can stifle creativity. It can cause you to doubt your abilities and the work you’re doing to the point where it slows you down or even leaves you completely unproductive. It can cause image issues, relationship fears, and often leads to full-blown depression.

All this to say that the critic within needs to be taken seriously and managed appropriately. To avoid the downward spiral that leads to self-destructive behavior, it is my humble opinion that the critic needs to be listened to and responded to because it can’t be all-together avoided. If, instead, we can harness the criticism and re-direct it into self-improvement, we will become happier and more successful people. So, how do we do that?

First, we must accept the fact that no one is perfect. We aren’t, never will be, and expectations of perfection are both ludicrous and harmful. Goals are great but keeping them realistic is critical so that we set ourselves up for success.

Next, we need to identify the motivational source of the voice. Is this coming from a place deep inside where we know we have room for improvement in a certain area? Or, is this coming from a place of pain? A place of deception? For some, the critic within comes from a place where they have been hurt in the past.

For example, a boy that was teased as a child for being overweight can grow up to be a man who feels fat no matter how much time he spends in the gym or how many times he passes on the French fries, opting instead for the kale salad. That’s when you know the voice is a liar and needs to be kicked out of your life. Choosing the gym and the kale salad made the man a better version of himself than accepting his “fate” as a fat man and eating French fries while watching The Biggest Loser in tears would have. But, he already made that improvement so, continuing to listen to that voice would only mean inevitable self-destruction. Time to move on.

As a Christian, I also believe that the voice within me can be the Holy Spirit shining a light on dark spots in my life that need to be exposed so that I can improve. So that I can become the man I was created to be and live the life I was created to live. That’s a voice I want to listen to because it makes me a better person and, ultimately, a happier one.

As a writer, the critic within can make my work better. Again, I just need to learn to harness it and use it for good rather than let it overwhelm me and take me down the path of self-destruction. Like me while I’m on this side of heaven, my work will never be perfect. And, also like me, there’s always room for improvement. We are all works in progress. And, until my books are in print, I’m trying to improve every little detail until I have to let go.

The bottom line is that the critic within can be a good thing. Or, it can be your worst enemy. The choice is up to you. One thing that’s for sure, we all face that voice from time to time. The trick is in how we decide to handle that standoff.

 

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